Since last Friday, it has been snowing cats and dogs in Columbus.  But, if you are not from Columbus, you may laugh at the way people in Columbus react to snow.  THEY GO CRAZY!  Literally.  You see people storming into the grocery store, fighting over milk and bread, while standing there wondering if they have enough water to last them through the end of winter.  No joke.  So you would guess my surprise when I woke up today to a terrible snow storm and learned that I did actually have school today.  One of the three school districts still open in Columbus.  THREE SCHOOLS ONLY!  It was my charter school district, another charter school, and Columbus public.  Since our school’s attitude is that if Columbus is open, we are open, I made my way through the snow to school.

And went to school to “teach” (really babysit) 40 students.  Honestly, it was quite ridiculous.  Students had to walk to school in the snow, attempt to get a ride from their parents, or wait in the freezing cold weather for the bus.  Now, typically we will have 120-130 students, so it was dramatically less crowded than normal, and less chaotic.  Yes, I did get a lot of work done, but I would have prefered sitting at home on the couch with the puppy all day.

Maybe tomorrow… a girl can dream.

This afternoon in my reading class, I was having the students read the book “The Contender” out loud.  Its a great book, filled with racial issues and finding strength to rise about the life they have now.  One of my students, who struggled in the past and has been greatly improving, was asked to read.  He started out great, but was taking long pauses (5-10 seconds) after every comma or period.  So, I very nicely say, “Great job R, but try not to take as long of a pause.  Perhaps only one second”.  So he begins to read.  And after every comma and period, instead of a ten second pause, he says “One”.

It was the longest 3 minutes of my life as I kept trying and trying to keep my smile hidden behind my book and just kept on going in class.

Another event that happened in that class dramatically caught me off guard.  We were reading a section where the main character (who is a black teen living in Harlem in the early 1960s) was stopped by the white police and questioned what he was doing.  We began having a discussion about this, and as I attempted to tie in the racial issues going on, one student called out “They still do that to blacks”.  And I stopped.  I forget sometimes that I’m not in my own little white world, that my students on a daily basis deal with racism and discrimination and judgmental opinions simply because of their skin color.  Simply because they live in the ghetto. Simply because they are from Somalia or from a broken home or live in foster care because their parents are drug addicts.

And then my heart broke a little.

From this class I moved onto another class, where I almost cried.  But not because I was angry or because the  students were mean to me.  But, because I was honest with them.  We were talking about their behavior and how they need to at times be careful about what they say.  They couldn’t really understand, so I told them a story of a time when someone around me said something that truely hurt me, even though they didn’t realize it.  I was at my sorority house watching Greys and it was the episode where George’s father dies, which conviently is on TV right now.  We were talking about death and one of the girls in my house said that dying from a heart attack is a pathetic way to die.  And I just sat there.  And stared.  And then left the room and left the house because I couldn’t hold in my tears.  She never realized that my father had died of a heart attack and it was not a pathetic way to die.  My father was an incredible man who died with his hands raising up towards heaven (trust me, that is not suppose to happen).  I told my students that story and they all just kind of looked at my for a minute.  I know there is things that you are suppose to keep as a teacher from your students, but I really felt that I needed to let them see how their actions, however innocent could really affect someone else.  And I think it might of worked.  I saw students being more cautious with the way they spoke to other people so I hope, hope beyond hope, that my students really listened today.  And maybe tomorrow will be different.

The past two days I have been trying to do two things: refocus and regroup.  I feel as though the past month I have been so busy running around for Christmas, end of the 2nd quarter, and adjusting to a three new classes that I haven’t had time to stop and just think.  To just relax.  To just sit and figure out what the heck I am doing and need to do at this point in my life.  I was able last night to just come home, eat dinner, get a little bit of grading done and then just think.  Think about how I need to start approaching my classes, treat my students, and my work attitude.  It is very difficult some days to remain positive at work, something that I have been struggling with.  But luckily, I was able to just sit and breath last night.

I was able to also think a little more about this upcoming year.  I love my teaching job right now.  Yes, there are some ups and downs, and at times I wonder what the heck my principal could be thinking.  BUT, I love my students.  As out of control crazy they can be, I love seeing the HUGE progress they can make in a single week- such as not turning in a single assignment all quarter and then suddenly turning in the first two assignments for a new quarter.  To see a student who had been suspended for half of the year come to school prepared and ready to learn.  Its these advancements that just make my heart melt and me love my job.  So, I am at a place of dilemma, and I making my pros-cons list in my head with decided what step to take next year.  To I just say, well, I’m going to go teach at a better school because it will be easier?  Or do I stay with the challenges I have now, growing as a person and a teacher each day?

For now, I don’t know.  But hopefully I’ll be able to figure it out soon.

I made 25 students sit in silence for 50 minutes, completing the work they were suppose to have done yesterday, but didn’t do and didn’t have ready for today.

In the words of Stewie, “Victory is mine!”

You still have snow days:o)  Happy Friday everyone!

This year I picked a New Years resolution in which I am hoping to be a better person.  This week, however, has been an uphill struggle for me.  On Monday I returned back to school to find that three of my classes had students changed around.  So now, half of one sixth grade class was in the other and vice versa (the same for the eighth graders).  I thought to myself, OK this will stinks, but it will be OK.  But, I was pretty annoyed that it happened because I lost the kids in one of my favorite classes.  I know I’m not suppose to have favorite classes as a teacher, but there was this one class where the students came to class prepared and excited to learn and I didn’t have behavioral problems.  Now, I feel as though I have more behavioral problems then before.

So this week I struggle.  I felt at least three emotional breakdowns yesterday and today I once again just felt as if I have no power in school.  And so I haven’t been the best teacher I could be this week.  I’ve been short with my students, getting upset with them and yelling more then I have to.  And, I kind of hate the type of teacher I was this week.  I was grumpy, and moody, and probably a pain in the butt to my students.  So next week, or starting tomorrow if I don’t have a snow day (I hope that doesn’t happen!), I’m going to focus on my students and building them up.  Not constantly breaking them down.

So here we go!

I’ve always made a New Years resolution, but have failed in the past to keep them, whether it be loosing weight, staying more organized (my family laughs at this), or getting higher grades in school or college.  I am a horrible person when it comes to these goals because I loose my focus, patience, or interest in keeping them.

This year will be different.

I was driving back to my house today and was thinking about this past year and the experiences I have been through, the people I met, and the way I acted.  I realized that I didn’t necessarily like the person I acted as in numerous situations, whether it be with my friends or my family.  Thinking about my behavior made me come up with a different type of resolution, not one to keep my room clean or go to the gym every day at 5 am (I like my sleep, thank you very much).  Not at all.

This year I am going to strive to be a better person, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend.  I am going to work every day on putting my friends, family, and students first, ahead of my own wants and needs.  Yes, I can be self-centered and selfish sometimes, hello, this is a blog about my life:o)  But, I need to realize that other people are more important to me than my own wants and needs and so, this year I am resolving to change that.  As a teacher I am always trying to get my students to see outside of their own little bubble, but how can I do that if I am stuck in my own little Amy-world?  I want to become a better human being, spending more time with those I love and less time on my own selfish needs.

Its a doozy, and will not be an easy task this year.  But, I am sick of easy things and really do want to try to make a difference this year, both in my own life and the lives of those I know.  So that is my resolution, my goal for the year 2010.  Hopefully, on December 31st, I can write a year in review and truely see how I spent a year becoming a better person for my family, friends, and students.

Happy 2010!:o)

Stealing Busygirl’s idea to provide a year in review.  Here is what happened in my life this past year:

January:

Celebrated New Years with friends, then started cramming for my Praxis II Integrated Social Studies test.  Took the test (whew) and headed back to OWU for my last semester in college.  Started student teaching at DCHS, endured a final formal recruitment weekend and had an awesome winter party with my youth group kids.

February:

Took over ALL  5 classes (which I now laugh at) with student teaching.  Only had one or two meltdowns with it.  Ellie turned 6!  PASSED my Praxis II test, which meant I could now be a teacher.  No fun trips this month, except to home to bug my mother:o)

March:

Turned 22!  Mego aged another year too!  Finished up teaching about WWI and Russia- started prepping for a month long unit on WWII (which is my favorite war period).  Went to DC for the first time in my life with the madre- saw everything and anything in DC in only three days!  Saw some old friends from college, thought I saw Obama but was disappointed when it wasn’t him.  Returned to OWU to finish my last month at college.  Colin turned 1!!!

April:

Had a few meltdowns with teaching, thought I shouldn’t be a teacher, then found my desire to teach again!  Finished up a term paper on educational funding in America, had Easter at home, and a huge event for my youth group kiddos.  Nicole aged a year and I decorated her house to make her happy:o)  I also painted my room at big one’s house green:o)  I taught my last day at DCHS- my kids made me a sign and gave me hugs.  I admit, I cried on the way home.

May:

I graduated from college.  I moved into my sister’s house.  I attempted to find a teaching job.  Job search- not so successful so I began working at PetsMart.  Mom aged.

June:

Job searching was continued as I worked at Petsmart.  Cashiering was an enlightening experienced.  I worked too little, job searched a lot, and played with the puppy.  I received my 2 year teacher’s license… and had a slight heart attack at the realization that I was now a teacher.

July:

Worked, worked, and worked some more- some how I became employee of the month during my second month of work?  Started training for pet care so I got to play with all of the animals.  Continued to bug Nicole at home.  GOT AN INTERVIEW AT A SCHOOL… although I did not get the job (which I am OK with).  It was still exciting to think that someone somewhere wanted me to teach.

August:

Went on family vacation to the Jersey shore, got two more teaching interviews.  Got a new job at a day care thanks to a good friend.  Went dress shopping for big one’s wedding with the family.  Kept working at PetSmart, starting working at the day care, GOT A TEACHING JOB AT A MIDDLE SCHOOL!  Quit the daycare job (thank goodness- sorry, just not the job for me!). Gracie turned 5!  Nicole and I joined a gym- ouch.

September:

Started my new job and was scared silly.  Teaching 6, 7, and 8th graders was going to be a challenge and was quite unsure how I was going to survive this year.  Nicole went to Switzerland, I watched the doggie and met my students’ parents for the first time.  Nicole and I got a little sore during our get-in-shape wedding workouts; Mel and Nick got a little older too.

October:

Three weeks of teaching done and I continued learning every day about the wonders of the teaching profession.  Went home several times to see Grandma and Grandpa, finally took a trip to Philly to see Mel, Nick, and the kiddos, and began my weekends away from Columbus.  Starting frequently attending Monday night pizza with OWU people and began the balancing task of teaching life and personal life.

November:

Went to Kalahari with the siblings and New Moon at midnight (after 4 hours of Parent-teacher conferences, it was needed).  Endured two 4-hour nights of parent-teacher conferences, had weekends of laziness and lesson planning, and began the countdown to Thanksgiving break.  Traveled to Philly with the madre for Thanksgiving to visit the fam.  And Chris got older…

December:

Mom came to visit for a shopping weekend, I began counting down the days until Christmas break, and was informed I had to lead my students in a song for the winter concert (eek).  Had an awards ceremony at school and was able to make several students and their parents extremly proud of their accomplishments!  Survived my evaluation with the principal, and ended my first three months of teaching at my school!  After a visit from C and M, I traveled home for two lovely weeks of winter break.  Was able to see some old friends, bake lots of cookies, and have some incredible family bonding time, which did include several nerf gun fights.  Now, its time to celebrate the last day of 2009 and look forward to the upcoming year and the many things that will happen in it:o)

Happy New Year!!!:o)

I cannot wait for my family to get here… but for now, this will do!

Happy Harry Potter Num. 7:o)

http://www.cinemagia.ro/trailer/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-part-i-harry-potter-si-talismanele-4477/